Ditch the routine!

Let's be honest, we all crave excitement in the bedroom.

But when you're in a long-term relationship, routine can easily creep in, leaving your sex life feeling more like a predictable script than a thrilling adventure. If you're yearning to rekindle that spark and infuse your intimate moments with a dose of excitement, you're in the right place!

This isn't about pressuring yourself into crazy acrobatics or unrealistic fantasies. It's about finding creative ways to connect with your partner, explore your sensuality, and rediscover the joy of intimacy.

1. Set the Stage for Seduction:

Ambiance is Everything: They say ambiance is everything, and nowhere is this truer than in the bedroom. Creating a sensual atmosphere can transform a routine encounter into a truly intimate and exciting experience. It's about engaging all the senses, setting the stage for seduction, and transporting yourselves to a world of pleasure and connection.

• Harsh overhead lighting does nothing for romance. Opt for soft lamps, fairy lights, or the warm glow of candles to create a more inviting and intimate mood.
• Candles instantly add a touch of romance and sensuality. Choose scents like vanilla, sandalwood, or jasmine to further enhance the ambiance. 
• Warm colors like amber, gold, or deep reds can create a feeling of warmth and passion.
• Music can be incredibly evocative.  Choose a playlist that sets the mood you're aiming for, whether it's smooth jazz, sensual R&B, or even some playful pop.
• Scents have a powerful effect on our mood and libido.  Diffuse essential oils, light scented candles, or use a room spray with aphrodisiac qualities like ylang-ylang or patchouli.
• Soft fabrics like silk sheets, faux fur throws, or a plush rug underfoot can add a tactile dimension to the experience.
• Arrange pillows and cushions on the floor for a more intimate and playful setting.
• Bring in elements of nature, like fresh flowers or a leafy plant, to create a sense of serenity and connection.
• Surround yourself with things that make you feel good - cherished photos, artwork, or personal items that evoke positive emotions.

Dress the Part:  It's amazing how the right outfit can instantly transform how you feel. When it comes to intimacy, dressing the part can be a powerful way to boost confidence, ignite desire, and set the stage for a more exciting experience.

It's about embracing your sensuality and expressing it through the clothes you choose.

While lacy lingerie certainly has its allure, dressing for seduction goes beyond traditional expectations. It's about finding what makes you feel confident and desirable.

Flirt and Tease:  Anticipation is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Just as a chef slowly simmers a sauce to deepen its flavor, flirting and teasing throughout the day can build excitement and make your intimate encounters that much more satisfying. It helps keep the spark alive, even when you're apart, and remind your partner of the passion you share.

• Send playful texts throughout the day, leave suggestive notes, or engage in some lighthearted teasing to build anticipation.

2. Expand Your Pleasure Palette:

Explore Sensual Massage:   A slow, sensual massage can be incredibly arousing. Use fragrant oils, focus on erogenous zones, and let the touch linger to build tension.

Introduce Sex Toys:  Toys aren't just for solo play!  Experiment together with vibrators, couples' rings, or anything that piques your curiosity.

Embrace Role-Playing:  Step out of your comfort zones and explore different roles or fantasies. It can be as simple as a playful scenario or a more elaborate character portrayal.

• For example, you can pretend you're meeting for the first time, filled with nervous excitement and flirty banter. Or you can explore a classic teacher-studentrole-play that taps into themes of power dynamics and forbidden desires.

3. Break Free from the Bedroom:

Spice Up the Shower: When it comes to exploring intimacy, sometimes the most unexpected places can lead to the most exciting encounters. The shower, often seen as a mundane part of our daily routine, can be transformed into a steamy oasis for sensual exploration and connection.

The warmth of the water, the feeling of cascading droplets on your skin, and the steam filling the air all contribute to a heightened sensory experience that can make intimate moments feel even more intense.

The sound of the running water can also create a soothing and relaxing atmosphere.
 

Get Adventurous:  The bedroom can easily become a predictable routine. But your house (and beyond!) is full of untapped potential for exciting and sensual experiences. Embrace your adventurous spirit and explore different rooms, settings, and even outdoor spaces to add a spark of excitement to your love life.

Plan a Romantic Getaway: A change of scenery can do wonders for reigniting passion.

Do you both love hiking in nature? Exploring bustling cities? Relaxing on a beach? Choose a destination that aligns with your shared passions.

4. Communicate and Explore Together:

Share Your Fantasies: Fantasies are a natural part of human sexuality, but they can often feel shrouded in secrecy and shame. Creating a safe space to openly share your desires with your partner can be incredibly liberating and lead to a more fulfilling and exciting sex life.

Try Something New Every Month:  Make it a fun challenge to experiment with a new position, toy, or activity each month.

Repetitive routines can dampen the flames of passion in any relationship. One way to keep the spark alive and ensure a fulfilling sex life is to embrace novelty and exploration. Make it a fun challenge to try something new every month, whether it's a different position, a new toy, or a completely new activity.

Ideas for Monthly Adventures:

* Positions: Explore the Kama Sutra, research online, or get creative and invent your own positions.
* Toys:  From vibrators to massage candles to bondage gear, there's a world of toys to discover. Visit a sex-positive store or browse online together.
* Activities:  Think beyond intercourse. Try massage, role-playing, sensual games, or even simply spending an evening giving each other compliments and expressing gratitude.
* Sensory Exploration: Experiment with different textures, scents, sounds, and visuals to enhance your intimate experience. 

Focus on the Journey:  Remember, intimacy is about connection and exploration. Enjoy the process of discovering what brings you both pleasure.

Remember:

Consent is Key:  Always ensure everything you do is consensual and feels good for both of you.

Verbal Check-Ins:

* "Are you enjoying this?"  Don't assume you know what your partner likes. Regularly check in to make sure they're comfortable and enjoying the experience.

* "Is there anything you'd like to try?"  Encourage open communication about desires and fantasies.

* "Would you like me to [specific action]?"  Be explicit about what you're planning to do and get a clear "yes" before proceeding.

* "Is this too much pressure?"  Pay attention to nonverbal cues and be willing to adjust if something feels uncomfortable for your partner.

Nonverbal Consent:

* Pay attention to body language: Notice if your partner seems hesitant, tense, or is pulling away.

* Respect boundaries: If your partner says "no" or "stop," immediately respect their wishes.

* Don't pressure:  Consent should be freely given, never coerced or pressured.

Don't Be Afraid to Laugh:  Sex can be fun and silly!  Don't take yourselves too seriously, and embrace the awkward moments. Bodies make noises!

A snort, a squeak, an accidental toot - these things happen. If it happens, don't let it derail the mood. A shared laugh can actually increase intimacy and make you both feel more comfortable.

We've all seen those seductive moves in movies, but in real life? Not always so smooth. If your attempt at a sultry hair flip ends up more like a whiplash, own it! Make a joke, turn it into a playful moment.

By incorporating these ideas and maintaining open communication, you can break free from routine and rediscover the excitement and joy of a fulfilling and passionate sex life. 

Spice things up in the bedroom tonight! Sign up for our courses today with Special Limited-Time Offer - 7-day All-Access Pass for $1 only - and upgrade your sex skills!

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About the author

Elizabeth Carter
Sexual health expert who helps people with sexual problems such as anorgasmia, low libido, and sexual dysfunction.