Level up your lip game

Kissing, that universal language of love and desire, transcends words and ignites sparks. But let's be honest, kissing can be exciting and nerve-wracking, especially if you're new to it.

So how do you graduate from average to amazing? How do you become a mind-blowing kisser? Don't worry, with a few simple tips, you can go from an okay kisser to an amazing one!

While mastering kissing techniques is important, remember it's not just about the physical act itself.

A truly amazing kiss goes beyond lips and tongue; it's about building a connection, communicating desire, and creating a sensual experience for both partners.

Laying the Foundation

Let's break down the essential foundation for a mind-blowing kiss:

1. Confidence is Important:

• Believe in Yourself: Approach kissing with confidence, knowing you have the potential to be a great kisser. When you believe in yourself, it shows in your body language and actions, making you more attractive and desirable to your partner.
• Banish the Butterflies: Nervousness can lead to awkwardness and fumbling. Take a deep breath, relax, and focus on enjoying the moment. Your partner will likely sense your anxiety, so a calm and collected demeanor will put them at ease as well.

2. Freshness is Irresistible:

• Oral Hygiene is Key: Bad breath is a major turn-off. Brush your teeth regularly, floss daily, and use mouthwash to maintain fresh breath. Nobody wants to be close to someone with unpleasant odors, especially during an intimate moment like a kiss.
• Mind Your Menu: Be mindful of what you eat and drink before a potential kiss. Strong-smelling foods like onions, garlic, or fish can linger on your breath and leave an unfavorable impression. Choose neutral or minty flavors instead.

3. Reading Between the Lines:

• Body Language Speaks Volumes: Pay close attention to your partner's non-verbal cues. Are they leaning closer, making eye contact, or playing with their hair? These are often signs of interest and openness to a kiss.
• Respecting Boundaries: Not every situation calls for a kiss. Even if your partner seems receptive, always ensure consent before initiating. A clear verbal confirmation or a positive response to your subtle advances can ensure a comfortable and enjoyable experience for both of you.
• Understanding the Moment: Context matters. A first kiss might call for a gentle approach, while a passionate embrace with a long-term partner could be more intense. Read the situation and adjust your approach accordingly.

The Art of the Kiss

1. Start Softly: Begin with gentle, closed-mouth kisses. Explore the lips, lightly tracing their shape with yours.
2. Introduce Variety: Don't get stuck in a monotonous pattern. Vary the pressure, speed, and intensity of your kisses. Add soft nibbles or light suction, exploring the entire lip area.
3. The Power of the Tongue: Once comfortable, subtly introduce your tongue. Start with light touches, exploring the inside of your partner's lips and the tip of their tongue.
4. Syncing & Mirroring: Pay attention to your partner's kissing style and try to synchronize your movements with theirs. This creates a sense of harmony and connection.
5. Explore Beyond Lips: Expand your repertoire to include kisses on the neck, earlobe, jawline, and collarbone. These erogenous zones can heighten the experience.

More than Just Lips

Kissing is awesome, but there's more to it than just lips touching. To really make your kisses amazing, you need to connect with your partner and make it a special experience. Here's how:

1. Look into Their Eyes: During a kiss, take a quick peek into your partner's eyes. It makes things feel more intimate and shows you're really into them. Looking at their eyes also helps you understand how they're feeling. Are they enjoying it? Should you kiss them differently?
   
2. Use Your Hands: Don't just stand there! Gently touch your partner's face, hair, or back. This makes the kiss feel even better and shows you care. Pay attention to how they react to your touch. If they seem uncomfortable, take it slow or stop.
   
   
3. Show Your Feelings: Let your kiss show how much you care about your partner. Whether it's a soft kiss or a passionate one, put your feelings into it. A first kiss might be gentle, while a kiss with someone you've been dating for a while might be more intense. Adjust your kiss depending on the situation.
   
   
4. Talk About It: After the kiss, tell your partner how much you enjoyed it. This makes them feel good and encourages more kisses!Talk about what you both liked and what you could try differently next time. This helps you both become better kissers.

Just like anything else, the more you kiss, the better you'll get at it.

So don't be afraid to practice and experiment! Most importantly, relax and have fun. Kissing should be enjoyable, so focus on the moment and connecting with your partner.

A few bonus tips:

• Keep your lips kissably soft by staying hydrated and using lip balm.
• Be mindful of bumping noses when things get passionate, and don't be afraid to add a bit of playful teasing or gentle nibbles.
• Setting the mood with music and soft lighting can also enhance the experience.

Remember, the key is to have fun and enjoy the journey of becoming a fantastic kisser!

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About the author

Charlotte Cambell
Sex and relationship coach who works with people dealing with issues of sexual trauma and sexual disorders.