How technology is changing the way we date, love, and have sex

Our phones and computers aren't just for work and entertainment anymore – they've become key players in our sex lives, changing how we find partners, explore intimacy, and even experience pleasure.

Let's explore the exciting possibilities and potential pitfalls:

Finding Love Online

Finding love these days is like a big online game.

Feel like a spontaneous coffee date? Swipe right.

Looking for a fellow dog lover? Filter your search.

Want someone who shares your passion for underwater basket weaving? There's probably an app for that too!

Lots of people are looking for someone special on dating apps. You can swipe through profiles, kind of like flipping through a photo album, and choose who you like based on their pictures and what they write about themselves. 

It's pretty exciting to think you might find "the one" with just a few clicks. You can chat with people, send funny emojis, and get to know them before even meeting. 

But it can also be a bit much. With so many choices, it's easy to get overwhelmed and focus on just pictures instead of getting to know someone. And it's important to be careful too. Not everyone online is who they say they are, and sometimes people only show their best side. So, take things slow, chat for a while, and if you decide to meet, choose a public place and let a friend know where you're going.

Virtual Reality

Ever wished you could live out your wildest fantasies? With VR, it's kind of possible!

Imagine putting on goggles and feeling like you're in another world, having sex with whoever you want, however you want. It's like a super realistic video game, but with touch! It's a safe way to try new things, but we need to be careful. You and your partner should be okay with it, and we can't let it become an addiction that takes us away from real life.

• You can try playing an erotic VR game to spice things up. You put on a VR headset and enter a virtual world where you can explore your fantasies and have virtual sex with your partner.
• Or, you can try out VR pornography together for a spicy adventure.

Sexting

Sending flirty messages and explicit photos has become a common way to spice up relationships and explore desires. Sexting can be fun, exciting, and a great way to build anticipation. However, it's crucial to approach it with caution and respect.

Once you hit send, you lose control over the content, and it could be shared or used against you without your consent. It's essential to establish clear boundaries, understand the risks involved, and ensure your partner is comfortable with the level of intimacy before engaging in sexting.

Here are some tips for writing flirty and safe messages:

• Focus on compliments: Let your partner know what you find attractive about them, both physically and personality-wise.
• Be playful and tease:  Use humor and lightheartedness to build tension and excitement.
• Ask engaging questions: Show genuine interest in your partner's desires and fantasies.
• Use suggestive language:  Instead of being explicit,  hint at what you'd like to do with your partner or what you're imagining.
• Share your own fantasies:  Open up to your partner about your desires and what turns you on.
• Always get consent:  Before taking things to a more explicit level, make sure your partner is comfortable with it.

Technology can be both a blessing and a curse when it comes to relationships.

1. On the one hand, it provides tools for staying connected with partners despite distance, planning romantic surprises, and rekindling the spark through virtual dates or shared online experiences. Couples can explore fantasies through online role-playing games, send flirty messages throughout the day, or even use app-controlled sex toys for long-distance intimacy.
   
   
2. However, excessive screen time, social media comparisons, and the constant temptation of online distractions can create distance, breed insecurity, and lead to communication breakdowns.

Finding a healthy balance and fostering open communication about technology use is key to maintaining a strong and fulfilling relationship.

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About the author

Charlotte Cambell
Sex and relationship coach who works with people dealing with issues of sexual trauma and sexual disorders.